Episode 102

The Art of Vulnerability: A Conversation with Yuval David

How would you feel if you had the ability to express your deepest emotions in a safe and supportive space? Is it possible that the secret to growth and self-realization is hidden in our vulnerability? Award-winning actor and activist, Yuval David, joins us on the show today to explore these questions and more. We kick off our conversation delving into the powerful realm of storytelling, and how it shapes our perception of ourselves and others. Yuval shares his insights on the transformative power of stories, how they've influenced his work in film, television, theatre, and the digital space, and his ongoing advocacy for civil rights, social justice, and representation.

Ever stopped to truly appreciate the 'now', the present moment you're in? The Hebrew concept of "Hineni", meaning 'I am', serves as our guide as we embark on a journey to discover mindfulness. Yuval delves into this concept, emphasizing the importance of gratitude, not for our successes, but for the mere fact of our existence. We then navigate the often-underestimated importance of expressing our emotions, in particular, through crying, and how establishing a secure space for these expressions can be therapeutic, bringing about a sense of equilibrium and peace.

To wrap it up, we delve into the world of the LGBTQIA+ community, examining the power of vulnerability and the critical aspect of setting boundaries. Yuval and I bring to light the importance of standing up as an ally and using our voices for tangible positive influence. We then explore Yuval's groundbreaking art project, Wonderfully Made, which portrays Jesus as a member or ally of the LGBTQ community. So tune in, and join us on this enlightening journey through storytelling, mindfulness, and advocacy in the realm of LGBTQIA+.

About our Guest:

Yuval David

Emmy Award winning actor, host, filmmaker, and advocate with a creative mantra to entertain, uplift, and inspire. As a filmmaker, Yuval produces, directs, and writes short and feature films, documentaries, web-series, and digital and TV content, including the award-winning episodic series, One Actor Short, Pranks of Kindness, Better World with Yuval David, What Makes You Beautiful, and numerous other web series. His work has been screened at international film festivals, receiving over 100 awards.

Yuval advocates for all marginalized communities through his creative work and social action, including the National LGBTQ Task Force, GLAAD, Rainbow Railroad, Freedom House, EndJewHatred, the Shoah Foundation, the Jewish National Fund (JNF), Keren Kayemet, Stand With Us, A Wider Bridge, The Aguda, American Israel Cultural Foundation, Chabad, the Jewish Learning Institute, the Embassy of Israel, Covenant House, LGBTQ Centers across the US and internationally, The Giving Group Community, Black Jewish Entertainment Alliance, Creative Community for Peace, and other organizations.

Find him on social media at https://www.yuvaldavid.com/

www.wonderfullymadefilm.com

Connect with Heather:

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Email: hh@chrysalismama.com

Takeaways:

  • Yuval David emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability in order to foster creativity and connection with others.
  • Life is a continuous exploration of ourselves, and our identities can intersect in meaningful ways.
  • Advocacy for LGBTQ rights within religious contexts is crucial for promoting acceptance and understanding.
  • The film 'Wonderfully Made' aims to bridge the gap between LGBTQ identities and faith communities.
  • Art has the power to provoke thought and emotion, challenging societal norms and expectations.
  • Practicing gratitude for simply being present in the moment can enhance one’s overall well-being.

Links referenced in this episode:

Transcript
Heather Hester:

Welcome back to Just Breathe.

Heather Hester:

I am so happy you are here.

Heather Hester:

I am really, really excited to bring you today's interview.

Heather Hester:

I you know how you have those conversations or you know that you're going to have a conversation with someone and you just have no idea how it's going to turn out and when you have it, whether it's a meeting or an interview or whatever it is, but once you have it, you're thinking, oh my goodness, this was extraordinary and absolutely nowhere near what I thought it was going to be.

Heather Hester:

That is today's interview.

Heather Hester:

The conversation that you are about to enjoy is quite possibly one of the most unique interviews I have ever, ever shared with you, prepared to be entertained and even perhaps enlightened.

Heather Hester:

This conversation was truly, truly an honor to have so my guest today is Yuval David.

Heather Hester:

He is a celebrated and Emmy award winning actor, host, director and filmmaker who has won over 100 international film festival awards.

Heather Hester:

His creative mantra to entertain, uplift and inspire shapes his approach to storytelling with boldness, vulnerability and authenticity in representing characters and narratives.

Heather Hester:

As a filmmaker, Yuval directs, writes and produces feature length films and short films, documentaries, web series, as well as digital and episodic TV content.

Heather Hester:

His most recent feature length documentary is getting industry and media buzz and is currently in the film festival circuit.

Heather Hester:

It's called Wonderfully LGBTQ R Religion and we will be talking about this today.

Heather Hester:

I'm so excited for you to learn more, so sit tight.

Heather Hester:

As an actor, Yuval plays leading roles in film, television, theater, web and digital media, as well as voiceovers.

Heather Hester:

As a TV host and presenter, Yuval focuses on societal, humanitarian, food, travel, cultural and entertainment programming.

Heather Hester:

His work is seen on network television, documentary films, web series and regularly at live events.

Heather Hester:

He is a news commentator on broadcast news programs speaking about social and political issues and causes, often speaking about civil rights, social justice, and representation in politics, social movements, entertainment and media.

Heather Hester:

In addition to his work in entertainment and media, Yuval is a passionate advocate and activist.

Heather Hester:

Advocacy for the marginalized and underrepresented is a driving force along with his focus on Jewish, lgbtq, humanitarian, arts and creative initiatives.

Heather Hester:

So without further ado, I am absolutely thrilled to bring you my conversation with Yuval David.

Heather Hester:

Welcome to Just Breathe Parenting, your LGBTQ team, the podcast transforming the conversation around loving and raising an LGBTQ child.

Heather Hester:

My name is Heather Hester and I am so grateful you are here.

Heather Hester:

I want you to take a deep breath and know that for the time we are together, you are in the safety of the Just Breathe nest.

Heather Hester:

Whether today's show is an amazing Guest or me sharing stories, resources, strategies or lessons I've learned along our journey, I want you to feel like.

Heather Hester:

Or just hanging out at a coffee shop having a cozy chat.

Heather Hester:

Most of all, I want you to remember that wherever you are on this journey right now, in this moment in time, you are not alone.

Yuval David:

Welcome back to Just Breathe.

Yuval David:

I am so happy you all are here today and I am really, really excited about this conversation that you are about to listen in on.

Yuval David:

My guest today is Yuval and I've.

Yuval David:

I've just was practicing a little bit.

Yuval David:

It's a beautiful name.

Guest:

Let's do that intro one more time.

Guest:

Yeah, you don't be timid with me and my name people too timid.

Guest:

Okay.

Guest:

I mean, even if you're using this as your intro, just say my name again.

Yuval David:

Yuval.

Guest:

There you go, Yuval.

Yuval David:

There we go.

Yuval David:

I got it.

Guest:

Many goals in life, but a new one that just came up right now, I didn't know was a goal of mine until this moment is for people to just when they reference me, to do so with confidence and boldness.

Guest:

So yeah, let's, let's give you.

Yuval David:

Well, let's, let's do that again then because that was not confident or bold.

Yuval David:

It was.

Yuval David:

I am still trying to get the sound right in my head.

Guest:

Just remember, ah, Yuval.

Guest:

Or just say my name however you want to say it.

Guest:

It's a name that's said by people in different places and they all have their different accents and dialects and well.

Yuval David:

It is, it is a beautiful name.

Yuval David:

And I think that is something that actually this lends itself to so many different conversations of people being worried about saying things wrong.

Yuval David:

Right.

Yuval David:

I mean we can take that somewhere else, couldn't we?

Guest:

Absolutely.

Guest:

But we can't be worried about what we.

Guest:

About everything that we do.

Guest:

If we do things from a good place, then go with it, then run with it.

Guest:

I mean, even if I pronounce your name Heather and you then correct me or you choose not to because maybe you like that I call you Heather or he ought her.

Guest:

Actually that sounds pretty amazing.

Yuval David:

That does.

Yuval David:

I might have to change my name now.

Guest:

Queen Hiata.

Guest:

Her warrior goddess.

Guest:

I think that needs to be your name.

Guest:

Hyatt.

Guest:

Oh my God.

Guest:

I see you with a sword and like.

Yuval David:

Right.

Guest:

Huge sword.

Guest:

Like the kind that just nobody gets to use other than Hiyata.

Yuval David:

Her Than me.

Yuval David:

Oh, I like that.

Guest:

Wow.

Guest:

I think you.

Guest:

We now have your avatar.

Yuval David:

I think so.

Guest:

Oh, can you say Hiyata her?

Yuval David:

Oh goodness.

Yuval David:

Hiyata her.

Yuval David:

Right.

Yuval David:

I knocked that right out.

Yuval David:

Of the park the first time.

Guest:

Hiyata her, I think.

Guest:

Yeah, you should go with that.

Guest:

Even when you're.

Guest:

I don't know when you're.

Guest:

When you're checking in at a hotel or when a telemarketer calls you and say, oh, I'm sorry, you mispronounced my name.

Guest:

It's he.

Guest:

Otter.

Guest:

Just have them say it.

Guest:

That would be great.

Yuval David:

Wouldn't that be so much fun?

Yuval David:

And they have to say it like that.

Yuval David:

I think you need to be my branding manager.

Guest:

With a bit of a growl, he had her.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

Your turn.

Guest:

Do it.

Guest:

Come on, give us.

Yuval David:

All right.

Guest:

He ought to her, I think, Red hearing that, that was amazing.

Guest:

He ought to her.

Yuval David:

I think so.

Yuval David:

I like that.

Yuval David:

All right, well, yeah, now, this was an intro.

Guest:

This was a good intro.

Yuval David:

This was.

Yuval David:

And now Yuval.

Yuval David:

Yuval, great.

Guest:

Yeah, whatever.

Guest:

It's all good.

Yuval David:

By the end, I'm gonna just be.

Yuval David:

It's gonna be 12 different ways that I've said it, and I'm gonna finally find the way that I like it.

Guest:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

Just out of my mouth.

Guest:

Life is an exploration and.

Guest:

And we must continue to explore ourselves and allow other people to explore how they.

Guest:

How they see us and define us and receive us.

Guest:

And, you know, here we go.

Guest:

We're using our names as a way to.

Guest:

To symbolize that type of exploration.

Guest:

And we talk about the relationships that we have in life so often, and even those change, relationships develop, and we need to let that development happen, because if something is stagnant, well, it's.

Guest:

It's boring.

Guest:

And life is too short to be boring.

Guest:

And even after life, things continue to change, you know, a decay happens.

Guest:

Memories change and get passed on from one person to another or one being to another.

Guest:

And if eventually we all turn into sand and eventually trees and the wind and the air, and it is what it is.

Guest:

So hi to her.

Guest:

It's a pleasure to be speaking here with you as Yuval.

Yuval David:

Yuval.

Yuval David:

Yuval.

Yuval David:

I'm delighted to have you here, and I just.

Guest:

I'm delighted to have to have you here, too.

Guest:

To be here with you and to be invited on your show.

Guest:

You know, you're doing.

Guest:

You're doing something with your life.

Guest:

You're using your life as a form of advocacy.

Guest:

You're sharing your journey, your path and other people's journeys and other people's paths by.

Guest:

By being vulnerable to sharing yourself and.

Guest:

And what you and your family are and.

Guest:

And are becoming and are developing.

Guest:

So, yeah, thanks for doing that.

Guest:

I want everybody to do that.

Yuval David:

I do, too.

Yuval David:

I mean, that is definitely one of the reasons I do this is to encourage others to.

Yuval David:

To do the same and to.

Yuval David:

To embrace all of it.

Yuval David:

Not just the easy and the.

Yuval David:

And the beautiful, but the messy as well.

Guest:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

And the messy is sometimes equally as beautiful, so.

Guest:

Well, you know, as.

Guest:

As a.

Guest:

As a storyteller, which.

Guest:

That's really the one.

Guest:

If I need to use one term to define everything that I do, it's probably that, you know, I work as.

Guest:

As an actor, as a filmmaker, as a director, as a news commentator, as a television host, but also as an activist and advocate.

Guest:

And throughout all of it, I think of the story, the journey, the characters, and the narratives that I'm imparting and the audience who's receiving the information that I'm trying to share.

Guest:

What version of myself am I sharing?

Guest:

I am all of me, all the time.

Guest:

Right.

Guest:

I can't cut any part of myself out when I choose to share a version of myself.

Guest:

And I will never let somebody cut part of me out, part of me that they might not want or might not accept.

Guest:

I'm all of me.

Guest:

But how do I.

Guest:

How do I manipulate that message?

Guest:

How do I present what I want to present in a way that I think that they want to or are ready to receive it?

Guest:

Or do I present it in a way that they might not want to receive it, but in a way that I embrace the challenge, embrace the messiness, as you just spoke about.

Guest:

Because it's what is imperfect that is most compelling.

Guest:

It is what is most messy that resonates with more people.

Yuval David:

That is 100% true.

Yuval David:

And I think a lot of times that's where the growth happens.

Guest:

Right?

Yuval David:

I mean, you can see light bulbs starting to go off.

Guest:

I do.

Guest:

You.

Guest:

You look so much brighter.

Guest:

You got brighter all of a sudden.

Guest:

Or wait, or are your light bulbs like the.

Guest:

The really old school flash bulbs of, like, cameras in the.

Guest:

I don't know what it was, like the 19.

Yuval David:

Whatever those were, like, where they'd burn out after one.

Guest:

One time.

Guest:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

No, it's not.

Guest:

You.

Guest:

You don't burn out after a flash.

Guest:

You just get brighter.

Yuval David:

I do, I.

Yuval David:

I do.

Guest:

You do.

Guest:

I mean, look, I.

Guest:

I really appreciate the name Just Breathe.

Guest:

Right?

Guest:

The.

Guest:

The name that you're using here.

Guest:

And it's something that I try to do, especially when I'm feeling taxed and challenged and overwhelmed, which happens.

Guest:

I mean, lately it's been happening a lot.

Guest:

And I.

Guest:

Yeah, I embrace it and I say, okay, let me just center myself and just.

Guest:

And just breathe and When I, when I try to help entertain, uplift and inspire other people, which is my, one of my mantras, one of my brand statements of how I do everything I do to entertain, uplift and inspire.

Guest:

If I can entertain, uplift and inspire myself, and all who I'm collaborating with and all who I hope to have as my audiences or the people who receive and absorb whatever it is that I'm doing, I try to do that.

Guest:

So when I feel challenged in the process of entertain, uplift and inspire, I just breathe and take that moment.

Guest:

And right now I hear my microphone and the sounds.

Guest:

It's capturing every sound.

Guest:

And on one hand it's making me extremely self conscious, but on the other hand, it just, it is where I am.

Guest:

It is.

Yuval David:

It's beautiful.

Yuval David:

I will tell you, it is beautiful.

Yuval David:

It's.

Yuval David:

What I, what's coming through to me is I'm rather captured in this moment and it's, it's clear.

Yuval David:

There's a, there's so much in what you're saying, and I'm so appreciative of it.

Guest:

Good.

Guest:

Because it's, it's real.

Guest:

The nervousness is, is there.

Guest:

This has been a day, it's been a, a week and a month.

Guest:

And however vague that is, it's everything you could imagine.

Guest:

The, the highs and the lows of life have been experienced.

Guest:

I, I found out today that a friend of mine passed away.

Guest:

And it was, I found that out between having to be on the news, commenting about the SAG Aftra strike and what's happening in Hollywood right now.

Guest:

And before that, I was speaking about the plight of LGBTQ people in non democratic countries.

Guest:

So after talking about LGBTQ people, hearing about my friend, and then having to speak about SAG Aftra and having a glass of water and now speaking with you, my head has kind of.

Guest:

I don't know, my head has been spinning and it's, my head isn't spinning.

Guest:

I feel like I need to take more breaths.

Guest:

And it's not about, it's not about not having a conversation with you or not or saying no to something else.

Guest:

It's saying, this is the reality.

Guest:

This is the reality of life.

Guest:

When we engage in a lot and when we allow ourselves to be engaged.

Guest:

That's not to say that we shouldn't take a break, that we shouldn't pause.

Guest:

And believe me, I am going to take some breaks and pauses today.

Yuval David:

Good.

Guest:

It's reminding people that sometimes life, not sometimes, always life happens.

Guest:

Life always happens.

Guest:

And the more you're connected to the light, to Life, the more life you're going to feel, the more you.

Guest:

You pour yourself into life and allow yourselves to be that vulnerable being who is permeable, but from which your bravery and your courage comes from, the more you're going to feel it.

Guest:

The more you will need to take that break and breathe, the more you'll need to be in the moment with complete action and still just breathe.

Guest:

That's something that I get from the title of your podcast here, and it's something I remind myself in those challenging moments, whether I choose them or whether I don't.

Yuval David:

Yes, yes.

Yuval David:

Well, it allows us to keep moving and it allows, I think that moment of pause is so valuable and sometimes can do more for us than, you know, eight hours of sleep.

Guest:

Or can it, though?

Guest:

Because eight hours is amazing.

Yuval David:

It really is.

Yuval David:

I mean, don't get me wrong, but sometimes we don't have that available to us.

Yuval David:

Right.

Yuval David:

It may not be possible for many reasons.

Yuval David:

So having.

Yuval David:

You know, there were a million reasons why I named the podcast Just Breathe, but that is certainly one of them because it is something that we can do at any time and it is always available.

Guest:

It is always available to just breathe.

Guest:

I developed a habit where.

Guest:

Which I try to impart onto other people because it's really worked for me when I take those moments, whether you call it the just Breathe moment or taking a beat or centering yourself or a term I like from.

Guest:

From the film and television world.

Guest:

Going back to one, Go back to one.

Guest:

Go back to your mark.

Guest:

We're starting at the beginning of the scene.

Guest:

So in that moment, in that beat, in the moment where you just breathe and absorb the world around you and the world within you choose in that moment to immediately bless that moment, yourself and the environment and the world around you acknowledge that moment and say to yourself, I have no idea what is going to happen next.

Guest:

I can plan, I can do the work, I can do the preparation for whatever is going to happen next.

Guest:

But I don't actually know what is going to happen because I am living and I'm alive and I'm awake and I'm engaged.

Guest:

And don't lose your or don't base your gratitude for this life on how you're feeling in that moment or how you might look or the successes or the failures of your preparation and your practices.

Guest:

But base your gratitude forward the moment merely because you have the moment and because you are.

Guest:

Because I am.

Guest:

In Hebrew, there's a word, hineni, which is a biblical Hebrew word, which those of you who have studied The Bible, you might have first heard that word hineni, when.

Guest:

When Moses walks up to the burning bush and God says, should I do, like the old school?

Yuval David:

Let's do it.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

And God speaks to Moses from the burning bush and says, moses.

Guest:

Because for some reason back then, God always had a British accent.

Guest:

Moses.

Guest:

Moses.

Guest:

And Moses was American in.

Guest:

What is it?

Guest:

Charlton Heston?

Guest:

Who is it?

Guest:

Yes, and he was American, but God was British.

Guest:

And.

Guest:

And anyway.

Guest:

But in the.

Guest:

In the Hebrew Bible, Moses responds, hineni, which means I.

Guest:

I am.

Guest:

I.

Guest:

I am.

Guest:

So in that moment, base your gratitude for the life, for this moment, merely because you have this moment.

Guest:

Because you are.

Guest:

Because I am.

Guest:

And then with that mindfulness and with the direction of.

Guest:

Of your spirit, whatever you're feeling, however you look, whatever your preparation and whatever your life was like before this moment, whatever your moments before were, with your mindfulness and direction of your spirit to yourself say, I am.

Guest:

I am here.

Guest:

I am now.

Guest:

This moment will never come again.

Guest:

This moment will never happen ever again.

Guest:

I will never look exactly like this.

Guest:

I will never feel exactly like this.

Guest:

The people and the world and the environment that I'm looking at and engaging with will never be exactly the same as it is right now.

Guest:

I won't ever see the sun twinkle, the sunlight twinkling on the rippling water in front of me.

Guest:

I won't see that leaf blow in the winds the way it does.

Guest:

My jaw might not clench as it does.

Guest:

I might not smell that distant scent of a flower or the lavender in the distance the way I am right now.

Guest:

I might not hear the bird chirping or the truck driving down the road or an ambulance siren in the distance just like that.

Guest:

I might not ever see the stars twinkle the same way that they are right now, or feel the wetness of the night grass as I look up at the moon, the same way as I am right now.

Guest:

I will never have this moment the way I am right now.

Guest:

I will never speak the way I am right now or hear the way I am right now.

Guest:

I won't be the way I am right now.

Guest:

I might not ever hear my friend's voice again as I have right now or as I have in the moment before.

Guest:

My mother might not look the same as she did last week or the week before.

Guest:

I won't have the same feelings as I have right now or as I felt before, because each of those things is unique in the moment.

Guest:

And I won't ever experience any of these things ever in the exact same way again.

Guest:

And that's the way that is life.

Guest:

Nothing in my life will ever happen just like this ever again.

Guest:

And not.

Guest:

But.

Guest:

And I keep moving forward.

Guest:

My life is moving forward.

Guest:

My gratitude for this life, for this moment is.

Guest:

It is because I am here, because I am now, because I am.

Guest:

And now I just breathe.

Yuval David:

You've left me a little bit speechless, which is unusual.

Yuval David:

Every.

Yuval David:

Everybody listening knows that.

Yuval David:

Thank you.

Yuval David:

I've never thought about those moments of gratitude like that.

Yuval David:

Oftentimes you think about.

Yuval David:

I mean, typically, honestly, I am grateful for what I have, right?

Yuval David:

I am grateful for what is.

Yuval David:

I am grateful for what I am manifesting, right?

Yuval David:

But not.

Yuval David:

I am grateful, period.

Guest:

The more we.

Guest:

The more we practice gratefulness.

Guest:

And I have no long how.

Guest:

I have no clue how long it took me to say what I just said.

Guest:

I lost a sense of time there.

Yuval David:

That's okay.

Guest:

But those thoughts don't have to take as long as I said them.

Guest:

Doesn't have to take 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 1 minute, an hour, a day.

Guest:

It can be momentary, it can be a split second.

Guest:

The more we practice that, the more available it becomes, that momentary gratitude, that momentary blessing, self blessing for ourselves and for the world and universe around us.

Yuval David:

That is the lesson.

Yuval David:

The end.

Yuval David:

We're done now.

Guest:

And.

Yuval David:

That'S right.

Guest:

And now I go back to one.

Yuval David:

Oh, my goodness.

Yuval David:

Okay.

Yuval David:

If anybody else cried, it's okay, because I.

Yuval David:

I am crying.

Yuval David:

So just hold that.

Yuval David:

It's okay.

Yuval David:

Tears are good.

Guest:

Tears are good.

Guest:

Tears are.

Guest:

Are actually very important.

Guest:

It's cathartic.

Guest:

And there's something in too many societies for our people and for our people, I mean, our human people around the world, where within these societies they try to say that it's not okay to cry, you know, oh, don't cry.

Guest:

Don't.

Guest:

Don't cry.

Guest:

It's okay.

Guest:

Don't cry.

Guest:

Or be a man.

Guest:

Hate that one.

Guest:

Yeah, I hear that a lot.

Guest:

Or don't be a pussy, right?

Guest:

Don't cry.

Guest:

In fact, crying is so healthy, it is so real.

Guest:

And do you know what?

Guest:

Our eyes need it too, because it's cleansing.

Guest:

It cleanses our eyes.

Guest:

We tear up when dust blows in our eyes.

Guest:

We tear up when dust blows into our soul.

Guest:

We tear up when something feels dirty or spicy, right?

Guest:

We terrible spicy food.

Guest:

I'm a spiced addict.

Guest:

Right?

Guest:

For people who, who are feeling trapped or are dealing with anxiety and depression or are trying to suppress whatever it is in.

Guest:

In their life, go to your own quiet space if you can find it, if you have it, and play one of those.

Guest:

Playlists that you can find on, I don't know, Spotify, on Apple, on Amazon Music or wherever you can find music.

Guest:

Or sing your own song that brings about tears, the playlist or the song that will make you cry, Let it out.

Guest:

Let yourself feel those tears.

Guest:

And if you have noticed that you haven't cried for a long time, please for yourself, give yourself that moment of self gratitude to cry.

Guest:

It is balancing and it is cathartic and it is so important in our lives.

Guest:

I mean, howl at the moon.

Guest:

Go out and howl at the moon.

Guest:

Bathe in water and, you know, let your soul, the sound, reach the depths of your gut.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

And if you ever hear somebody saying to someone else, oh, don't cry, quickly chime in and say, it's okay to cry.

Guest:

I'm, I'm here with you and if you don't want me here with you, I'm over there with you.

Yuval David:

Yes, yes.

Yuval David:

It is such an important release and it's a really good thing to teach our children.

Guest:

Absolutely.

Yuval David:

And to your point, to share with, share with everyone around us.

Yuval David:

But as a lot, a lot of you listening are parents, it's never too late to shift that messaging.

Guest:

Is crying more vulnerable than laughing?

Yuval David:

I believe, I think that is the stigma.

Yuval David:

What do you think?

Guest:

Maybe that's too general of a question.

Guest:

I want to say no, but you're right, there's a stigma that's associated with it.

Guest:

It's okay for us to see somebody cry with joy and cry with delight or surprise and we think that that's wonderful.

Guest:

But to cry with a remorse or loss or sadness or depression.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

It's as if we try to mask the fact that the lows are part of life, but they're part of life.

Guest:

They happen and they will happen and they're going to happen.

Guest:

And more of them will happen as long as we live.

Guest:

So as long as we embrace the vulnerability of true self expression, which crying oftentimes is based on the way we're socialized, we recognize that crying, just like all of our vulnerabilities, are a power.

Guest:

Vulnerability is a power.

Guest:

It's acknowledging vulnerability as a self power.

Guest:

When we feel it or when we express it, it's a power.

Guest:

Sharing it with others is maybe even more vulnerable.

Guest:

It's even more of a power.

Guest:

But not everybody has to receive our vulnerability.

Guest:

Not everybody needs to choose to go on that journey with us.

Guest:

That's their own choice.

Guest:

And we can also choose who we feel safe enough to be vulnerable with.

Guest:

We need to trust somebody to truly and authentically Share our vulnerability.

Guest:

I mean, have you ever signed an NDA, a non disclosure agreement?

Yuval David:

Yes.

Guest:

Yes, I have, so many times.

Guest:

But I can't tell you about it.

Guest:

But if we really share that vulnerability with somebody in our truest way, and I'm not just speaking now as an actor and as a director and as a storyteller, news commentator, when I go onto public platforms and share my vulnerabilities or the vulnerability of the narrative or the story, I'm talking about the more intimate relationships, the more real here and now type of moments.

Guest:

If we're sharing the vulnerability with someone, then maybe, maybe that someone has to be somebody who we have an NDA with the non disclosure agreement.

Guest:

If you're truly going to share all of yourself without filters, then share that with somebody who you trust, who has that non disclosure agreement, that NDA.

Guest:

But if we share a vulnerability with everybody, even if we don't know them or trust them, then you know what?

Guest:

It's not a vulnerability.

Guest:

Because vulnerability includes a risk and an uncertainty.

Guest:

And not everybody deserves that disclosure.

Guest:

Not everyone is that safe person.

Guest:

Not every situation is that safe space.

Guest:

Not everybody is the right person and not every moment is the right moment for you to totally be open as you are.

Guest:

Because we are human beings, we are animals, and we do have to be on guard.

Guest:

We do have to be ready.

Guest:

It's how we're trained.

Guest:

As much as we try to use the, the mantras and the meditations and the dogmatic religions and whatever philosophy books to be bigger and greater than ourselves, the truth is get deeper and more specific into yourself, into how small you are.

Guest:

And then you'll know when to be vulnerable and when not.

Guest:

And then your vulnerability, when you are so much more special, so much more beautiful and cathartic.

Guest:

Whoa.

Guest:

I didn't expect this kind of conversation in our podcast today.

Yuval David:

I didn't either.

Yuval David:

I really didn't at all.

Yuval David:

And I'm, I am, I am rather taken by it.

Yuval David:

I know I just said that, but I'm searching for another way to describe it is truly unique.

Yuval David:

I have in my 100 plus episodes.

Yuval David:

Congratulations.

Yuval David:

Thank you.

Yuval David:

Have not had a conversation like this ever.

Yuval David:

And, and I have had lovely conversations with lovely people.

Yuval David:

But this is very thought provoking.

Yuval David:

And even on this point of vulnerability, thinking about the times that how difficult it is for many to be vulnerable at all.

Yuval David:

And that really takes.

Heather Hester:

A lot of.

Yuval David:

Inner work, a lot of courage, a lot of being connected, but then understanding also how being vulnerable can help others.

Guest:

Yeah, well, you know, you focus a lot on family Relationships.

Guest:

Right on.

Guest:

Parents and, and children and future parents and grandparents and you know, all the relationships, the entire lineage.

Guest:

And I think that's.

Guest:

Those are the relationships where, when they are relationships that are based in love, in just loving your children, loving your parents and your grandparents and your grandchildren and whatever it is.

Guest:

Those are the relationships where, the loving relationships where people do allow themselves to experience vulnerability and ensuring, creating, fighting for those safe spaces to allow those we love to be able to be vulnerable.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Guest:

When we can think about that, that those are the NDA people, those are the non disclosure agreement people.

Guest:

And that includes our chosen family.

Guest:

Right.

Guest:

Not only the families we're born to, but our innermost circle.

Guest:

We must always make sure that we can be vulnerable in that innermost circle.

Guest:

And we must always ensure that those who share that space with us can be vulnerable as well.

Guest:

And it's our duty to them to have that safe space where we can laugh and we can cry and maybe one second after the other, maybe one moment after the other, or both at the same time.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

And to just breathe together.

Guest:

You know, we, we have these yoga classes where the yoga instructor might read from a book and give, you know, her philosophical thoughts of the day.

Guest:

And we think about the breath and we have the meditation classes and the, the houses of worship or even just waking up in the morning.

Guest:

You wake up in the morning and you have that breath, or maybe that breath as you snuggle into bed.

Guest:

It's that vulnerable moment to allow yourself to relax and to just be.

Guest:

Those are teaching moments for the rest of the moments throughout our days, especially the moments that challenge us.

Guest:

And if we can prepare and train for the moments that challenge us.

Guest:

Because even in the most highly stressful, highly frightening, challenging, intense, angering, whatever moments, the most intense moments, that's when we need to have that just breathe moment.

Guest:

Those are the moments where we need to recognize our vulnerability.

Guest:

Because it's from that vulnerability that we know how to be strong and we know how to be brave.

Guest:

Bravery and courage doesn't come from strength, it comes from weakness.

Guest:

It comes from acknowledging our weaknesses and then knowing what we need to defend, what we need to protect, what we need to fight for and fight forward, not fight back for.

Guest:

How do we fight forward for it?

Guest:

Yeah.

Guest:

And ride it out.

Yuval David:

Well, also I think knowing that we don't need to know.

Guest:

We can want to know.

Guest:

We don't need to know, but we can absolutely want to know.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Guest:

And in contrast, I guess we also have the right to just not want to know.

Guest:

I do not Have.

Yuval David:

Also true.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

I don't have the capacity for knowing.

Guest:

Yep.

Guest:

I can't even.

Guest:

I like that expression.

Guest:

I can't even.

Yuval David:

I can't even.

Yuval David:

Oh, I use it all the time.

Guest:

Yeah, I've been using it lately.

Guest:

I can't even.

Yuval David:

It really just holds.

Yuval David:

It covers everything, doesn't it?

Yuval David:

At times when perhaps you can't use other words or phrases you'd like to.

Yuval David:

It really covers a lot.

Guest:

My can't even lately has become.

Guest:

I don't have the bandwidth for that.

Guest:

Yeah, that's what I've been saying lately.

Guest:

I can't even.

Guest:

I don't have the.

Guest:

I choose to not have the bandwidth for this thing right now.

Yuval David:

Yes, yes, you are protecting.

Guest:

Yeah, protecting my vulnerabilities, protecting my weaknesses in the moment.

Guest:

Saying I cannot.

Guest:

I can't even right now.

Guest:

I can't do this for myself.

Guest:

To myself right now.

Guest:

And that's okay.

Guest:

And that is okay.

Yuval David:

It is okay.

Yuval David:

Because if you don't take that time for yourself and you don't take that moment for yourself, then you know you're going to burn out.

Yuval David:

And any person.

Yuval David:

But I mean, especially doing all of the work that you do.

Guest:

Yeah, look, I mean, everything that I've been saying in this conversation, I also say to myself and remind of working within entertainment, media and social and political advocacy.

Guest:

Those worlds and industries and communities are challenging.

Guest:

And I pour all of myself into it because I also enjoy it and I delight in it and I'm passionate about it and I care with every fiber of my being.

Guest:

Yet I have seen burnout on the horizon.

Guest:

I've experienced burnout.

Guest:

And I know how much I need to give myself in order to give others.

Guest:

It's.

Guest:

It's like when.

Guest:

When on the airplanes, there's the emergency announcement.

Guest:

I'm sure you've heard this referenced before because a lot of people say what I'm about to say.

Guest:

When the flight attendants do the whole shtick of showing you what you know, how to put your seatbelt on and all that, they say if the airbags drop, you must first put the airbag or face mask, whatever it's called on yourself before you put it on your children or your loved ones.

Guest:

Because if we don't take care of ourselves first, we can never take care of anybody else.

Guest:

If you can't love yourself, you can never love anybody else.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

And when we recognize that burnout, that just means we haven't been loving ourselves enough.

Guest:

And I've been experiencing that myself for myself, the way I treat myself.

Guest:

And it is not a good feeling to have.

Guest:

It is not a good realization to have, but it's an important one to have.

Guest:

It's necessary.

Guest:

It's saying, oh, whoa, I need to take two letters, the letter N and the letter O and put them together and say, no, I'm not available for that.

Guest:

No, I don't have the bandwidth for that.

Guest:

No, I can't even.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Guest:

So that.

Guest:

That's something that I.

Guest:

Something that's important for people to.

Guest:

To recognize and.

Guest:

And within our LGBTQIA plus community.

Guest:

And the plus of the community is the most important part of that Alphabet soup of.

Guest:

Of the name of our community and our LGBTQIA plus movement, because it's the plus of allyship.

Guest:

And the plus means a lot of things.

Guest:

The plus of the LGBTQIA plus means that we have allies, the people who support us, who love us, who are connected to us.

Guest:

The plus also means we have more letters coming, girl.

Guest:

We have more letters.

Guest:

We don't know what they are yet, and we haven't named them yet.

Guest:

Or maybe they are named and we're still working on adding them.

Guest:

So it's plus we're going to add.

Yuval David:

Yep.

Guest:

But it's also the plus.

Guest:

The allyship that we can give each other and ourselves.

Guest:

Every single one of us is the plus.

Guest:

Whether you are the L, the G, the B, the T, the Q, the I, the A, you know, whatever, or.

Guest:

Or whatever.

Guest:

Other letters that haven't yet named.

Guest:

Every one of us has to be the plus for ourselves and for each other.

Guest:

It's why I oftentimes say that our LGBTQIA + community is more of a movement than a community, because many of us are not being the plus for each other.

Guest:

And, yeah, we need to try to be the plus for each other.

Guest:

Actually.

Guest:

Don't try.

Guest:

Do it.

Guest:

Just be the plus.

Yuval David:

Just be the plus.

Guest:

Right?

Guest:

I mean, it's what Yoda said.

Guest:

There is no try.

Guest:

There is only do or do not.

Guest:

Sorry, I'm a giant dork.

Guest:

It is what it is like, I can't.

Yuval David:

That is awesome.

Yuval David:

Thank you.

Yuval David:

You just made my entire day.

Guest:

I mean, I'm not only going to make you cry.

Guest:

I can't.

Guest:

I can do some Yoda, but, you.

Yuval David:

Know, I mean, not many people can do that.

Yuval David:

I just, for a moment, have to.

Yuval David:

I want everybody to take that in.

Guest:

I'm such a Star wars geek.

Guest:

It's like, it's.

Guest:

Yeah, it's a thing.

Yuval David:

It is a thing, but there are few that can pull that off, so.

Yuval David:

Bravo.

Guest:

Well, I mean, throughout my life, I grew up speaking multiple different languages and I specialize in accents and dialects when I do voiceovers.

Guest:

And as an actor, I'd say probably.

Guest:

Probably three quarters of the roles I've ever played have been foreigners, or let's just call them non Americans, you know, depending on where your audience is.

Guest:

So I practice my using my voice a lot.

Guest:

How can I use my voice in a way that will impact somebody or that will convey my character's truth?

Guest:

How can I use my voice in a way that shares my own truth?

Guest:

And I notice that the more stressed I get, the more anxious I get and exhausted I get, the more nasal I get.

Guest:

So I tend to get like, really here, like very much in the.

Guest:

Straight behind the bridge of my nose and when I'm most grounded.

Guest:

Oh, I love that voice.

Guest:

That's like the.

Guest:

That's the me I want to be.

Guest:

The.

Guest:

Oh, wow.

Guest:

Listen to that depths, Depth.

Guest:

Listen to that breath.

Guest:

So, yeah.

Guest:

Oh, gosh, I'm just giving you.

Guest:

I'm philosophizing non stop.

Guest:

We were just went from Yoda, my Yoda impersonation to philosophizing about.

Guest:

About voices.

Guest:

The point of that was that I like to practice different voices.

Guest:

And when I'm anonymous, like when I'm at the grocery store or out shopping or speaking to somebody who I think I might never talk to again, many times I'm not this Yuval.

Guest:

Like, I will say, oh, this is a perfect opportunity for me to pretend to be somebody totally different and put on an accent or, you know, speak a different language and pretend I don't speak English or, you know, whatever country I'm in, whatever the vernacular is there.

Guest:

And it is very fun.

Guest:

Although sometimes it has happened a few times where somebody I know would walk into the situation and look at me like, what are you.

Guest:

Why are you talking with a British accent?

Guest:

Why?

Guest:

Saying you're a selfie from London.

Yuval David:

Oh, my goodness.

Guest:

To share.

Guest:

And I was talking to her and she was just like living for this dialect.

Guest:

And I was saying like, oh, darling, it's so great to be here.

Guest:

You know, it's just every.

Guest:

Everything here at Whole Foods is really wonderful.

Guest:

I love the way it's laid out.

Guest:

It's so easy to shop here.

Guest:

And it's like, everything is so much cheaper than London.

Guest:

And as I was saying this, all of a sudden, one of my friends, she walks up, she's like, hey, Yuval.

Guest:

I'm like, oh, hey.

Guest:

And she's like, what's going on?

Guest:

And I was like, oh, no, I'm going to need to speak to my friend.

Guest:

Because hey, you know, hey sounds like hey with a British Londoner South.

Yuval David:

It sounds the same.

Guest:

I was like, what is my next sentence going to be?

Yuval David:

Oh, my God.

Guest:

No, I was.

Guest:

I started sweating and so then I just kind of talking a little bit quieter like this, like really weird to try to mask that I was speaking in a British, like South Londoner dialect to this cashier because I didn't want to like demolish her world.

Guest:

Like, I was complimenting her and she was feeling great and she was happy and because I noticed the first moment she, the cashier there she was.

Guest:

I don't know, she seemed like she was having a rough day.

Guest:

So I was like, ah, here's an opportunity for me to say nice things, to just create a scenario and make her feel great, you know, in the moment.

Guest:

And then my friend ruined it, ruined the whole thing.

Guest:

So I was just like, I just spoke to her, to my friend.

Guest:

I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, so good to see you.

Guest:

I'll catch up with you later.

Guest:

And she looked at me like, what are you doing?

Guest:

Why are you.

Guest:

Mum.

Guest:

She walked away and I called her later.

Guest:

I was like, oh, my God, this is what just happened.

Guest:

She's like, you are so stupid.

Guest:

You're such an idiot.

Guest:

Like, I can't believe.

Guest:

I was like, yeah, thank you for not ruining it.

Yuval David:

Oh my gosh, that is awesome.

Yuval David:

Oh, because what wouldn't cheer.

Yuval David:

I mean, a British accent.

Yuval David:

Cheers up, everyone.

Guest:

There's something about British dialects in America.

Guest:

Like Americans love them.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Yuval David:

It's so very true.

Yuval David:

It is a weird thing.

Yuval David:

It is a very weird thing.

Guest:

Well, I think maybe because we don't hear as many accents in the U.S.

Guest:

maybe that's not so true anymore.

Guest:

I was going to say maybe we don't hear as many accents in the US as we do in other parts of the world, other metropolitan areas.

Guest:

I mean, definitely in Europe, because so much of the world has been Euro focused for a long time.

Guest:

Where you get more people mixing and traveling.

Guest:

Yeah.

Guest:

Maybe that's just how it is in any place that doesn't get as many.

Guest:

As many people.

Guest:

I know when I travel in Central or in the Midwest.

Guest:

Right.

Guest:

Different than.

Guest:

And not in major cities like Chicago or Los Angeles or Even Miami or D.C.

Guest:

or New York or San Francisco, but cities that don't have as much traffic.

Guest:

Let's call it that.

Yuval David:

Yes, there we go.

Guest:

That's when there's something a bit more exotic and people like the accents.

Guest:

I mean, even my name.

Guest:

I was born in the United States.

Guest:

Right.

Guest:

But when people meet me in certain parts of the US they're like, oh, Yuval, where are you?

Guest:

Where are you from?

Guest:

And I said, well, I'm.

Guest:

I'm from.

Guest:

From dc.

Guest:

They're like, no, no, no, but where are you from?

Guest:

Oh, I'm.

Guest:

I'm from D.C.

Guest:

no, no, but you have an accent.

Guest:

I was like, I have an accent.

Guest:

I said, if I said my name was Sean or.

Guest:

Oh, this is my favorite.

Guest:

Another alter ego I have.

Guest:

His name is Sebastian.

Guest:

I just like that name.

Yuval David:

Do love that name.

Guest:

If I said my name was Sebastian, like, you would just look at me like, oh, okay, fine.

Guest:

And it's something in our American culture that I don't know if people are struggling with what really is American.

Guest:

That's what the.

Guest:

The woke movement has been trying to do.

Guest:

And a lot of people criticize it.

Guest:

And now woke means something totally different than what it originally did.

Guest:

But it's just to.

Guest:

To awaken ourselves to the fact that there are multiple narratives out there of our people, of our peoplehood, even our American peoplehood.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Yuval David:

To be aware.

Yuval David:

Right.

Guest:

To be awake.

Yuval David:

Yep.

Guest:

That's what woke really is about.

Guest:

That's what it means, being awake to what's happening.

Guest:

And.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Guest:

What's so bad about that?

Guest:

The.

Guest:

The contrast is what?

Guest:

To be asleep to it, to close your eyes to it, to not be aware of it.

Guest:

Be aware.

Guest:

That's all it means.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Guest:

It means somebody else has their story, somebody else has their life.

Guest:

And if they're fetching and complaining and angry or upset or just trying to share with you, then let them share.

Guest:

And if you have that moment, if you have the bandwidth, then just listen.

Guest:

And the response, the woke response is, I hear that you're saying these things.

Guest:

I've.

Guest:

I feel these things.

Guest:

I've sensed these things from what you have just shared.

Guest:

I appreciate that you've shared them with me.

Guest:

That's it.

Yuval David:

That's it.

Guest:

That's it.

Guest:

It's not saying, no, you're wrong.

Guest:

You can't be the Q or the.

Guest:

The black narrative in America is not the main, like, what, you know, like, people are arguing about, because this is a topic we speak about here in the US Quite a bit.

Guest:

You know, like, why do we have Juneteenth?

Guest:

That's not the.

Guest:

An American holiday.

Guest:

And it's like, actually, it is an American.

Guest:

Be woke to it, be awake to it.

Guest:

Just hear the narrative of other people.

Guest:

So when I.

Guest:

When I speak with conservative people, especially from an advocacy standpoint, even if it's on the News.

Guest:

If I'm on a panel with people who systematically are against just about every part of my identity, I will bring up topics like this saying, just be aware, be awake to it.

Guest:

Just like you want to be respected for your thoughts and your identity.

Guest:

Respect them for their thoughts and their identity.

Guest:

And.

Guest:

And that's it.

Yuval David:

Yeah, yeah.

Yuval David:

I mean, I think it boils down to people don't like being uncomfortable.

Guest:

Oh, God.

Guest:

But those of us who love vulnerability, love that discomfort, because that is where art happens and creativity happens and.

Guest:

And love.

Guest:

Love in every meaning, in every way we can share and express love.

Guest:

It comes from vulnerability.

Yuval David:

It does.

Yuval David:

Connection, understanding, actually seeing people.

Guest:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

It comes from being uncomfortable.

Yuval David:

Just embrace it.

Guest:

Embrace it.

Yuval David:

Just embrace that.

Guest:

And then discover if you want to be uncomfortable, you know, maybe you don't want it, and that's fine.

Guest:

So you embraced it, you acknowledged it.

Guest:

And you can change your place, you can change your direction, you can change your location, you can change the way you lean into it.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

So I'm an avid skier.

Guest:

Like, skiing is my favorite sport.

Guest:

It's a milestone of every year.

Guest:

It's one of my favorite getaways to just place my mind somewhere else.

Guest:

To go to high elevation, to 14,000ft elevation, and to have my helmet and my ski gear and to be challenged.

Guest:

And I lean into the challenge in skiing.

Guest:

The Skiing 101 lessons are the same lessons that are applied to skiers who are doing the double black diamonds and doing the challenging mogul runs or skiing through and around the trees.

Guest:

You need to lean into it.

Guest:

Skiing is a forward moving sport.

Guest:

You need to bend at your knees, you bend a little bit at the hip, you bend at the every joint, and you lean forward, you lean into the challenge, you lean downhill.

Guest:

Most people, when they're going down a very sheer, steep slope, they're leaning back like, oh, my God, this is scary.

Guest:

I'm going to lean away from it.

Guest:

That's the exact opposite of what you need to do when you embrace the slope and what you're doing.

Guest:

You lean into it.

Guest:

You lean into that discomfort.

Guest:

And then the more that you push your shins into the front of the boot, the less discomfort you feel.

Guest:

If you don't press your shins into the front of that ski, you're going to feel a lot of discomfort.

Guest:

So when you feel those moments of discomfort, maybe just lean into it a little bit more and you won't be uncomfortable anymore.

Yuval David:

I like that.

Yuval David:

That is an excellent analogy.

Yuval David:

As a fellow skier.

Yuval David:

I understand that now.

Yuval David:

If there are those out there who don't ski.

Yuval David:

I highly recommend it.

Guest:

Where do you ski?

Yuval David:

I.

Yuval David:

The last place.

Yuval David:

I didn't ski at all this past year, which was very, very sad.

Yuval David:

I know, but I skied Jackson Hole last year, which was.

Guest:

Oh, my God, I love Jackson.

Yuval David:

Like, that was my.

Yuval David:

I had wanted to go there for, like, 20 years.

Yuval David:

It's been my dream.

Yuval David:

And we took our two younger kids, and my youngest is, like, just uber athletic.

Yuval David:

And he was so excited to ski with me and.

Yuval David:

And go.

Yuval David:

And he's like, I think I might be faster than you.

Yuval David:

And I was like, well, you know, you.

Yuval David:

You are, you know, almost 15 now and muscly and all the things.

Yuval David:

I'm a little bit older than that, so.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

But I can still take you, so it might be the one place that I can.

Yuval David:

But, I mean, I.

Yuval David:

When you're saying that, I'm like, oh, my gosh, yes.

Yuval David:

I don't know if that's my favorite place ever.

Yuval David:

I think I've had other places that I like more, but that was definitely a.

Yuval David:

And it was a dream, and I was so delighted just to be there.

Yuval David:

Jackson.

Guest:

I skied Jackson Hole this last winter.

Yuval David:

Did you?

Guest:

Oh, yeah.

Guest:

Ski, dad.

Guest:

Deer Valley, Park City, Aspen, Beaver Creek, Jackson Hole.

Guest:

What else am I missing?

Guest:

I feel like I'm skipping one of the places I skied this past winter.

Guest:

But, yeah, it's.

Guest:

We have some.

Guest:

Some beautiful places.

Guest:

I don't ski east coast very much anymore.

Guest:

I've been spoiled by powder and skiing in tons of snow and powdery conditions.

Guest:

Right.

Yuval David:

There's nothing like it.

Yuval David:

There's nothing like it.

Yuval David:

I.

Yuval David:

I learned to ski east, you know, East Coast, Midwest.

Yuval David:

So, you know, I learned how to ski on ice and hard.

Yuval David:

You know, hard.

Guest:

It actually makes you a better skier.

Guest:

I think I learned to ski in the east as well.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Yuval David:

So we are rock star skiers because of.

Yuval David:

Because of that.

Yuval David:

Because skiing and powder is like a.

Guest:

So easy.

Guest:

It's so much easier.

Guest:

Just like, it's so great.

Guest:

And it's just when I'm forced to.

Guest:

No, when I choose to ski with skiers who are not at or near the level that I'm at, and they're skiing in powder and they're nervous about it and they're trying to avoid the powder, I keep saying, no, no, no.

Guest:

You have to find the powder.

Guest:

You gotta get into the powder.

Guest:

It's the best.

Guest:

But it's scary.

Guest:

I don't know what's there.

Guest:

Like, exactly.

Guest:

Like, lean into it and skiing becomes so much easier.

Guest:

When you ski in and into the Powder.

Guest:

Oh, my gosh.

Yuval David:

And you, if you happen to fall, it's no big deal.

Guest:

My screen saver.

Guest:

Let's see.

Guest:

Hold on.

Guest:

Is that so?

Guest:

This past winter, I hiked.

Guest:

I hiked up to 14, 000ft elevation and skied down.

Guest:

This was in Aspen, and that was one of my favorite ski days of my entire life.

Guest:

Just.

Yuval David:

Oh, I bet.

Guest:

Oh, it was such a good workout, hiking up the mountain.

Guest:

And I had to stop a few times and just catch my breath and take photos of the beautiful environment around me.

Guest:

And it was breathtaking and challenging and.

Guest:

And I made it to the very top.

Guest:

And I felt so successful.

Guest:

I felt so.

Guest:

Like, I achieved something great.

Guest:

And.

Guest:

And I was ready to ski down.

Guest:

And I was chatting with this woman who was up there, and I'm like, oh, my God, this is amazing.

Guest:

Incredible workout.

Guest:

Like, oh, God, I wish I could.

Guest:

Could do this every day.

Guest:

And she's like, I do.

Guest:

And I said, what?

Guest:

She's like, yeah, I do this every day.

Guest:

And I said, that was a really hard workout.

Guest:

I was like, I now understand, because even with all her ski gear, I could tell that she was probably, like, shredded.

Guest:

She was probably just like, only muscles.

Guest:

Oh, my God.

Guest:

She said, not only that, I do it twice a day.

Guest:

I'm like, you do this twice a day?

Guest:

Stop it.

Guest:

And she said it was a mental health thing for her.

Guest:

She was a way to alleviate stress, and she just fell in love with it.

Guest:

And she's in the best shape of her life.

Guest:

And I.

Guest:

For like, three or four days afterwards, I continued to lose weight.

Guest:

I'm like, oh.

Guest:

Or to lose fat, I should say that way.

Guest:

Yeah, this was a really good workout.

Guest:

I'm getting shredded.

Guest:

And I did it once.

Guest:

Like, who is this Wonder Woman who.

Yuval David:

I met at the top of the mountain?

Yuval David:

Oh, I love that.

Guest:

She wasn't panting.

Guest:

She wasn't like, she wasn't struggling.

Guest:

I was panting and struggling, and I thought, I'm in pretty good shape.

Guest:

But then I met Wonder Woman at the top of the mountain.

Guest:

Like, oh, my God.

Yuval David:

Good for her, right?

Guest:

And then skiing down, like, I.

Guest:

I felt like I.

Guest:

I earned it.

Guest:

I didn't just ride a chairlift and go the easy way up.

Guest:

Like, I earned the powder on the way down.

Guest:

And then I was done.

Guest:

Then I was done, and I'm done.

Guest:

And that's a day now.

Guest:

I need to eat.

Yuval David:

I need an apres ski, right?

Yuval David:

Oh, yeah.

Guest:

Aprici is always good.

Yuval David:

Always good.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Yuval David:

Oh, my goodness.

Yuval David:

That is so funny.

Yuval David:

I remember as a little kid, the place that we used to go, and I always wondered, you know, you'd see the apres ski.

Yuval David:

I'm like, what is that?

Yuval David:

My parents be like, oh, don't worry about it.

Yuval David:

And then I became old enough to understand, and I was like, well, this is magic.

Yuval David:

It's.

Yuval David:

It's.

Yuval David:

It's a good thing after a day of skiing.

Guest:

It sure is.

Yuval David:

Oh, my goodness.

Yuval David:

Okay.

Yuval David:

So I just looked at our time, and I have taken a lot of your day, and I really, really want to talk about your movie.

Guest:

Oh, my God, please do so.

Yuval David:

I am so intrigued.

Yuval David:

I am so.

Yuval David:

First of all, it is called Wonderfully Made, and I want to know everything about it.

Yuval David:

I want to know how you came up with this concept.

Yuval David:

And I read somewhere and everything that I was reading that this is the first and it's a series.

Yuval David:

It's going.

Yuval David:

You're planning a series.

Guest:

Oh, I would love to turn this into a series.

Guest:

A lot of the.

Guest:

A lot of that rides on the success of.

Guest:

Of this film.

Guest:

To be an independent filmmaker requires blood, sweat, and tears.

Guest:

And I do mean all of that.

Guest:

I can only imagine it's not a.

Guest:

It's not an easy, simple task.

Guest:

And Creating wonderfully made LGBTQ +R is the secondary title really allowed me to experience all of that blood, Sweat, and tears, and I'm very proud of it.

Guest:

Wonderfully made LGBTQ +R is started as an art project because I noticed that there was a lacuna, a gap, a place where LGBTQ people of faith were struggling to be seen.

Guest:

And it actually started with.

Guest:

With my husband, with my partner.

Guest:

He is Catholic, and he was trying to find Catholic iconography that would.

Guest:

Would speak to him, that would represent him as a gay Catholic man.

Guest:

He was looking online, and he was trying to find imagery that would speak to him and that, you know, piece of art that would encapsulate everything that he.

Guest:

He wanted and needed to see for whatever spiritual journey and spiritual moment that he was on, and he couldn't find it.

Guest:

And he said, well, hey, you married a creative.

Guest:

You married an artist.

Guest:

You know, my art is within film, television, and theater, but I can do this.

Guest:

Let's do this, because you're not the only one.

Guest:

Throughout my advocacy, especially the LGBTQ advocacy, I encounter so many people who also are religious or have challenges and aspirations within the intersectionality of their LGBTQ and religious identities.

Guest:

So let's create something for you and for anybody who, like you, is searching for something.

Guest:

And that's how this project began as a photo art project, producing and creating this.

Guest:

This photo art Representing Jesus as a member or ally of the LGBTQ community represented almost a dozen different LGBTQ plus people.

Guest:

What does a Jewish guy have to do creating this?

Guest:

Some people have asked.

Guest:

I was like, well, I.

Guest:

I am connected to my faith and my faith traditions.

Guest:

I have a degree in art history.

Guest:

I've studied this stuff, and I'm engaged in LGBTQ advocacy, and I encounter people who.

Guest:

Who are seeking something, and I'm married to somebody who is seeking that something.

Guest:

And that's how this project began and turned into a documentary which explores the creation of this art and interviewing leading leading Catholics who deal with this specific intersectionality of LGBTQ and Catholic identity.

Guest:

So if this film is successful, whatever that means, then I'll be able to hopefully turn it into a series exploring all different faith traditions and continually exploring this and creating art for people of these different religions and faith traditions to find that they can also be LGBTQ at the same time, but also representing what it means to be LGBTQ within a religion for those who are not lgbtq.

Guest:

So they can see that we exist, that we exist within every community, because the LGBTQ community is the most diverse community in the world, because we're part of every other community in the world.

Guest:

So Wonderfully Made actually does tackle a lot of these issues in a creative way.

Guest:

And I would love for all of your listeners to go to the website wonderfully made film.com and you can also find the movie and the art on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at Wonderfully Made or Wonderfully Made Movie.

Guest:

You'll be able to find it.

Guest:

And, you know, it's.

Guest:

It's a.

Guest:

It's a form of art for social change.

Guest:

It's a grassroots, independent production that requires audiences to share the message, to reach the people who need to reach.

Guest:

Reach who need to be reached.

Guest:

Because a fact is, when we look at what's happening on a sociopolitical level to and with the LGBTQ community and movement, we recognize that the vast majority of anti LGBTQ laws, legislations, rules, and beliefs are on the basis of religion.

Guest:

So let's go to the root cause of where those thoughts and issues are coming from and explore it, and then create the change within the religion so people acknowledge that LGBTQ people are there.

Guest:

Now, this isn't only a message to the religious people who are anti lgbtq.

Guest:

It's also a message to people who are religious and might not be aware of LGBTQ people or might not care, and it shows them why they should care, but it's also a message to LGBTQ people that they can be of faith that they can have an intersectional identity.

Guest:

The mere fact that I am LGBTQ doesn't mean that I'm no longer everything else.

Guest:

And it also doesn't mean that my LGBTQ identity must be the most important part of my identity.

Guest:

It could be.

Guest:

It doesn't have to be.

Guest:

Same thing with having a religious identity or a cultural or an ethnic identity.

Guest:

You know, that we all have intersectional identities, that it's about the communities that we're part of, where they intersect within that Venn diagram.

Guest:

And that's what this film really tries to do with a specific focus on LGBTQ Catholics.

Yuval David:

Wow.

Guest:

Yeah.

Guest:

Wow.

Guest:

It's.

Yuval David:

I mean, it is.

Yuval David:

It is a lot.

Yuval David:

But I love that you've done this because this is something that is very, very needed, and it is a topic that can be very triggering.

Yuval David:

It can be very painful.

Yuval David:

It can be something that, you know, has perhaps been either sidelined or left behind because of all the things.

Yuval David:

Right.

Yuval David:

So I appreciate.

Yuval David:

I'm looking forward to actually seeing it myself.

Yuval David:

I just received it from your PR person a little bit earlier today, so I have not had a chance to take a look, but it will also be linked in the show notes, and I'll have it linked to everything.

Yuval David:

So it'll be very easy for everyone listening to be able to click through to all these different pieces that you just mentioned.

Guest:

Wonderful.

Yuval David:

Yeah.

Guest:

I mean, it's.

Guest:

It's really.

Guest:

Being an independent filmmaker is.

Guest:

Is hard, and it requires collaboration with audiences as well.

Guest:

It's how we get the message out, because we don't have the power and the financial backing of major studios to fund the marketing and the pr, which marketing costs.

Guest:

Most people don't recognize when they talk about, oh, how much does it cost to make a movie?

Guest:

They don't recognize that the vast majority of the budget goes towards marketing and pr.

Guest:

The most people think about, oh, production.

Guest:

That's the sexiest part.

Guest:

That's the most exciting part.

Guest:

What happens when the cameras are on?

Guest:

That is the smallest part of the production.

Yuval David:

Wow.

Guest:

Most of the production time is in editing, is in what's called post production.

Guest:

The editing, the sound mixing, the color correction is all of the stuff.

Guest:

Like, what do we do with all the content that we have?

Guest:

But then once the film is finished, the vast majority of the work and the budget, depending on how much money you have, goes into.

Guest:

Okay, what do we do now?

Guest:

How do we get this out there?

Guest:

Because the sky's the limit when it comes to marketing, advertising, and PR costs.

Guest:

Oh, so there's also a donate button on the website wonderfully made film.com, which, if this does speak to you, then please join us in the.

Guest:

In the movement and join our community do to help spread the message of this film and to prove to people within the industry that there is an audience for this.

Guest:

It's a triggering topic for people, religion.

Guest:

Some people focus on traditions and keeping things traditionally as they are and very much protecting it.

Guest:

Other people don't want to deal with it at all because they've been affected negatively by it or.

Guest:

Or they're not part of it anymore or whatever it is.

Guest:

But we cannot practice erasure of erasing the people who are still part of it, the people who are still experiencing it, and those are important audiences as well.

Guest:

That's something that the entertainment industry needs to learn and needs to acknowledge that it's not all about putting things in its own specific little bubbles, like, oh, this is a.

Guest:

This is a.

Guest:

An LGBTQ film.

Guest:

So we're only going to put it for the lgbtq, you know, playlists or whatever it is on Netflix or Amazon or Hulu or, you know, whatever.

Guest:

And this is a religious film, and we're going to put it here for only the religious community.

Guest:

And here's.

Guest:

You know, you can't separate everything.

Guest:

We need to be able to.

Guest:

To reach the communities.

Guest:

And it's rare for us to see a film that is both an LGBTQ film and a religious film together in one.

Guest:

And I think that many people in the film industry are confused by that.

Guest:

Like, well, how do you have both?

Guest:

I mean, it's either LGBTQ or it's religious.

Guest:

And, like, nope, it's.

Guest:

It's.

Guest:

It's both.

Guest:

Who's the audience?

Guest:

Is it LGBTQ people or is it religious people?

Guest:

It's like, yes and yes.

Yuval David:

Yes, both.

Yuval David:

You are a trailblazer.

Guest:

Am I a trailblazer?

Guest:

All right.

Yuval David:

Yes, I think so.

Guest:

A trailblazer.

Yuval David:

A trailblazer.

Yuval David:

That's the word that just came to mind.

Yuval David:

I don't know of any.

Yuval David:

Anything else that has been done like this.

Yuval David:

And I.

Yuval David:

Those reactions are both understandable and, you know, obviously for good reason, but this has the potential to shift that.

Guest:

And that's the power, and that's the power of art.

Guest:

You know, people, when they view the art that we created or view the film, just like art does for all different types of art does, it's meant to provoke thoughts and emotions and to make people change.

Guest:

Art isn't only there to make us feel comfortable.

Guest:

It's also there to make us let's go back to that word, vulnerable.

Guest:

It's there to disturb and disrupt.

Guest:

In addition to making us feel comfortable and feeling seen and feeling represented and recognized.

Guest:

It can do all of those things.

Guest:

So that's what I really aimed to do with this project.

Guest:

And now it just takes audiences to watch it, see it, view it, and share it.

Yuval David:

And share it.

Yuval David:

Yes.

Yuval David:

Okay.

Yuval David:

Well, this is.

Yuval David:

We have our, our homework, don't we?

Guest:

Yeah, we do.

Yuval David:

I like it.

Yuval David:

I like it.

Yuval David:

This has been the most unexpected and most wonderful and my.

Yuval David:

I just feel like my cup is full.

Yuval David:

I feel like my soul has been just, I don't know, rejuvenated.

Yuval David:

So this conversation.

Yuval David:

Thank you.

Yuval David:

And I know that you've had just a tough, a tough day and many tough days and lots going on.

Yuval David:

And so I am very grateful that you've been here and have shared so much of your soul with me and with my audience.

Guest:

The thanks are to you.

Guest:

I thank you for your time.

Guest:

I thank you for bringing me onto your show and sharing me with your audiences and all of my uber philosophizing.

Heather Hester:

Thanks so much for joining me today.

Heather Hester:

If you enjoyed today's episode, I would be so grateful.

Heather Hester:

For a rating or a review.

Heather Hester:

Click on the link in the show notes or go to my website, chrysalismama.com to stay up to date on my latest resources as well as to learn how you can work with me.

Heather Hester:

Please share this podcast with anyone who needs to know that they are not alone.

Heather Hester:

And remember to just breathe until next time.

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About the Podcast

Show artwork for Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen
Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen
With Host Heather Hester

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Heather Hester

Heather Hester is the founder of Chrysalis Mama which provides support and education to parents and allies of LGBTQIA adolescents, teenagers, and young adults. She is also the creator/host of the Top 1% podcast Just Breathe: Parenting your LGBTQ Teen. As an advocate and coach, she believes the coming out process is equal parts beautiful and messy. She works with her clients to let go of fear and feelings of isolation so that they can reconnect with themselves and their children with awareness and compassion. Heather also works within organizations via specialized programming to bring education and empowerment with a human touch. She is delighted to announce that her first book is out in the world as of May 2024 - Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen. Married to the funniest guy she’s ever known and the mother of four extraordinary kids (two of whom are LGBTQ) and one sassy mini bernedoodle, Heather believes in being authentic and embracing the messiness. You can almost always find her with a cup coffee nearby whether she’s at her computer, on her yoga mat, or listening to her favorite music.