Episode 123
A Deep Dive Into Queer Expression: Stories from the 'I'm Feeling Queer Today' Podcast
With the compassionate insights of Celeste Lecesne from the Future Perfect Project and the vibrant duo, Lily and Eric, from the "I'm Feeling Queer Today" podcast, in today's episodes we are going to discuss the resonating impact of giving voice to the marginalized, weaving a narrative that highlights the significance of safe spaces, creative expression, and the indomitable spirit of queer youth.
Join us as we navigate the inspirational paths of our guests, whose aspirations and educational pursuits demonstrate the transformative power of passion. Their stories are a testament to the importance of a supportive network, reminding us all that our involvement, whether as listeners, parents, or allies, is crucial in fostering a nurturing environment for self-acceptance and growth. Encouraging trust and curiosity, we explore avenues of support that emphasize presence and understanding over perfection. Celebrating the courage of queer individuals, we underscore the Future Project's role in shining a light on their creative talent.
Our exchange is a profound acknowledgement of the difference that even one supportive figure can make in a young person's life, inspiring gratitude for the connections that shape a brighter, more inclusive future.
To Learn More about the Future Perfect Project visit https://www.thefutureperfectproject.org/
Listen to the I'm Feeling Queer Today podcast on your favorite app or on Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/im-feeling-queer-today/id1726198109
Don't forget to grab your copy of Heather's new book, Parenting with Pride. Available Now! https://chrysalismama.com/book
Connect with Heather:
The Perfect Holiday Gift! Give a copy of Heather's new book, Parenting with Pride.
Get Your *free* Holiday Survival Guide
Access the course, Learning to Parent with Pride!
Work with Heather one-on-one or bring her into your organization to speak or run a workshop!
Please subscribe to, rate, and review Just Breathe. And, as always, please share with anyone who needs to know they are not alone!
Email: hh@chrysalismama.com
Takeaways:
- The Future Perfect Project amplifies the voices of queer youth through creative workshops and performances.
- It's essential for caregivers to support and guide LGBTQ youth as they discover their identities.
- Curiosity, rather than confusion, drives young people's exploration of their identities and experiences.
- Having just one accepting person in a young LGBTQ person's life can significantly reduce their risk of self-harm.
- Both Lily and Eric emphasize the importance of connection and community among queer youth.
- The podcast serves as a platform for authentic queer joy, showcasing the positive aspects of LGBTQ identities.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
Welcome to Just Breathe Parenting youg LGBTQ Team, the podcast transforming the conversation around loving and raising an LGBTQ child.
Heather Hester:My name is Heather Hester and I am so grateful you are here.
Heather Hester:I want you to take a deep breath and know that for the time we are together, you are in the safety of the Just Breathe nest.
Heather Hester:Whether today's show is an amazing guest or me sharing stories, resources, strategies, or lessons I've learned along our journey, I want you to feel like we're just hanging out at a coffee shop having a cozy chat.
Heather Hester:Most of all, I want you to remember that that wherever you are on this journey right now, in this moment in time, you are not alone.
Speaker B:Welcome back, my friends.
Speaker B:If this is your first time here, I am delighted you found Just Breathe.
Speaker B:We talk about all things loving, raising and empowering LGBTQ people.
Speaker B:But at the core, it is a space for you to take a breath, quiet all of the noise around you, and just be.
Speaker B:I think it is always so special when I get to talk to teens and young adults and share their voices with you.
Speaker B:Like the last episode with Connor and Gray, this episode shares not only beautiful insight, but also opportunity.
Speaker B:A few months ago, I was delighted when Celeste Lassan reached out to talk about the Future Perfect Project.
Speaker B:Celeste was one of the original founders of the Trevor Project and has spent their life advocating and creating safe spaces for LGBTQ adolescents, teens and young adults.
Speaker B:In simple terms, the Future Perfect Project amplifies the voices of queer youth.
Speaker B:While lawmakers are working overtime to pass laws and propose measures to limit the self expression of queer youth in schools and communities, the Future Perfect Project is encouraging the next generation to speak their truth and sing their songs of tomorrow.
Speaker B:The Future Perfect Project envisions a world where every young person feels safe, seen and celebrated in their home and their community.
Speaker B:They believe that the self expression of LGBTQIA youth is a declaration of a better future for us all.
Speaker B:To amplify queer young voices, they produce and facilitate creative workshops, media projects, and live performances of original work created by and about the current generation of LGBTQIA youth.
Speaker B:They amplify in three ways.
Speaker B:They facilitate spaces and artistic opportunities both online and in person.
Speaker B:Where queer youth create honest work, they utilize their resources to produce the work they create and broadcast it to a wider audience.
Speaker B:Please note that if this sounds like something your team may be interested in, please reach out.
Speaker B:Without further ado, I am so, so delighted to bring you our conversation.
Speaker B:Welcome back to Just Breathe, everyone.
Speaker B:I am so happy you are here and I.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:I am so Thrilled about the people that you get to hear from today.
Speaker B:And this.
Speaker B:I am just going to be quiet and let them talk because there is such awesomeness that is coming your way.
Speaker B:And you are going to get to learn straight from our kids.
Speaker B:Like, this is the stuff that you all ask.
Speaker B:Questions we want to know, we want to understand.
Speaker B:Well, here are two people who are so kind and generous enough to share their time to come on the show and talk about what they do, which is pretty darn cool.
Speaker B:So as I already, you know, introduced in the.
Speaker B:In the little bit of the introduction, but I'm going to give the floor here first to Lily and to Eric, who are two of the hosts of I'm Feeling Queer Today.
Speaker B:And I would love first.
Speaker B:Well, thank you first for being here, but I would love for you both to just talk a little bit about the podcast and how you came to get involved with it.
Lily:I'm Lily.
Lily:The way that I became involved with this was how I became involved with most of the things in my life.
Lily:It was a little bit of an accident.
Lily: In, I believe, The June of: Lily:And a friend's mother who was a librarian told them to come to these workshops, and they said, I don't really want to, but this seems like something you'd be into.
Lily:And sure enough, four years here I am very much was something that I'd be into.
Lily:I have done the writers workshops.
Lily:I've done their performance workshops.
Lily:I've done their portfolio project, and then I helped them pilot this podcast program.
Lily:And then we did season one.
Lily:Season two is coming in the fall, and I'm still here.
Lily:And I'm so glad that they've had me.
Lily:Wonderful.
Lily:I never shut up about it.
Lily:I tell everybody about this organization.
Lily:It has changed my life.
Lily:It has saved my life.
Lily:It has made me into the person I am today.
Lily:Right now I'm in school pursuing degrees and other things that they taught me to do here.
Lily:So the impact cannot be understated.
Lily:And it's all free.
Lily:And we were even compensated for our work on this program.
Lily:So access to that kind of education and that kind of support, frankly, life changing.
Lily:And we have so many talented young people in this program, and I'm so grateful to have met them.
Lily:That was a lot of words.
Lily:Eric, would you like to speak?
Speaker B:I love that now.
Eric:Yeah.
Eric:So my name is Eric.
Eric:I use they.
Eric:Them pronouns.
Eric:And similar to Lily, my involvement with The Future Perfect Project.
Eric:And then subsequently, I'm Feeling Queer Today was a happy little accident, because it was definitely.
Eric:I was totally not aware of the Future Perfect Project.
Eric: But then in spring of: Eric:With students in my school district, we did a little writing workshop in person, which was so amazing and wonderful.
Eric:But that opened my eyes to the wonderful world of the Future Perfect Project.
Eric:And I got involved with some of their online arts programming, like Lily mentioned, with, like, the Writers Room and the portfolio development project, and all of that just kind of allowed me to explore myself as a writer and as a speaker and just allowed for a lot of expression that I didn't know that I could be capable of before.
Eric:And when it comes to I'm Feeling Queer Today, specifically, I did jump in a little bit midway through the production of our first season.
Eric:But I think that the integration into this community and this cohort was so wonderful and seamless because of just how open and welcoming and warm everyone is.
Eric:And, yeah, I just really think that everything Future Perfect Project, but especially I'm Feeling Queer Today.
Eric:It's just a really great outlet of, like, queer expression and art and queer joy.
Eric:And, yeah, our goal is kind of just to connect with queer youth across the country, teach people about our experiences, and just kind of share our perspectives.
Eric:And it's all been a really great opportunity.
Eric:And thank you so much for having us here.
Speaker B:My great pleasure.
Speaker B:And, oh, my goodness, you both are so well spoken.
Speaker B:Bravo.
Speaker B:I mean, goodness gracious.
Speaker B:So who, when you're looking for your target market for I'm Feeling Queer Today, are you really looking to speak with other kids that are around your age?
Speaker B:Are you speaking to.
Speaker B:Is it more of like kind of a.
Speaker B:An educational psa?
Speaker B:Like, what are you.
Speaker B:Like, who is your target market?
Lily:In truth, we had many conversations about what our target market was, and I believe what we concurred was whoever happens to stumble across it.
Lily:I think we talk a lot about.
Lily:In the first episode, one of the people that we work with, Alex, talks about how it's a little bit like a digital zine.
Lily:So magazine.
Lily:Like, it's a collage.
Lily:There's bits and pieces so you can tell listening through it.
Lily:A few are educational segments.
Lily:We have one that Claire, another contributor, did at New York Pride last year, where we give, like, a brief, very brief overview of Stonewall and the sort of early gay rights movement, which is more educational.
Lily:But then we also have conversations between our contributors and between guests that I think definitely offer a window into the lives of queer and trans people that might not otherwise be accessible.
Lily:You're like listening in on a conversation between two people that you probably wouldn't encounter if you weren't listening to the podcast.
Lily:So that I think helps young queer people feel seen, feel heard, understand that there are other people going through similar things.
Lily:And in fact, we have a pretty wide age range I think we had from 15 to 24.
Lily:So that's almost a full generational overturn.
Lily:So even within the podcast, our last episode this season was to of our lovely, lovely friends Zoran and Frankie discussing testosterone, so hrt hormone replacement therapy and other like gender affirming care.
Lily:And Frankie recently started T and Zorin's really excited to maybe do that one day.
Lily:So even to connect with one another and sort of envision the futures that we do have that we for a long time weren't told that we have and that we were told wouldn't be happy, they would be tragic and violent and et cetera.
Lily:So to make those connections both with each other and across space and time and maybe to reassure caregivers and young people that there is, there's something good coming, like things are going to be okay again.
Lily:A lot of words, Eric.
Speaker B:I love that.
Eric:Yeah, I mean, like Lily said, I think the short answer is everybody, but the longer answer is, at least for me personally, when I would be sitting down and thinking about what I'd say on the next episode or recording a certain episode on the podcast, I would always think of.
Eric:And I think that a lot of our producers like mentioned this in their segments as well, like making sure that people don't feel alone.
Eric:And so kind of the thought process that I would go through is if one like queer youth is listening to this and they feel connected to the 12 of us who are speaking to them, then that's, I think our goal is accomplished.
Eric:And I think that of course we want to expand to as many people as possible and allow that reach to be expanded and reaching like so many people everywhere.
Eric:But I think that kind of boiling it down to feeling like if we can help just a single person, then we will have succeeded like far beyond like our wildest dreams.
Eric:I think that that's kind of how I try and contextualize it because I think, of course, again, like, expanding to be as big as possible is always the goal, but I think it becomes so much more personal and so much more real when you think, obviously we're having a conversation with each other, but as if the one person listening is also a part of that conversation and just allowing them to have that voice, even if it's not something they can actively use in their daily lives.
Eric:Just knowing that there are spaces, there are people that will accept them and will listen to them.
Eric:And, yeah, I think much like your podcast, we are trying to reach out to kind of our peers.
Eric:So for you, that's the allies and the parents and all the people who want to kind of uplift queer youth in the queer community.
Eric:I think for us, those people are definitely included and more than welcome.
Eric:But I think if we had to narrow it down to one group or one person, it would be that queer child who doesn't necessarily have a chance to be heard and doesn't have a space in which they can express all the things that they want to talk about.
Eric:So whether it's like, mental health or representation, we're just trying to show, like, you're not alone.
Speaker B:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker B:I love that so much.
Speaker B:That is such.
Speaker B:That is the tagline that I always use as well.
Speaker B:So as soon as you said that, I was like, hey, we have the same mission, just different age groups, but really not right.
Speaker B:I mean, I think that it's kind of to your point, like, whoever is listening and is open and curious and wants to.
Speaker B:Like, I think there's two kind of groups, like those who want to learn and understand and hold space, and then those who are feeling like, is there anybody out there who is like me?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And so I think that's such a beautiful thing that you all are providing, because you might be that very first voice that they're like, oh, my gosh, okay, I can make it through, you know, living in wherever they're living, right?
Speaker B:That might not be accepting and might be difficult, right?
Speaker B:And giving them that, like, okay, I can.
Speaker B:I can do this.
Speaker B:Because this person did it, and this person did it, and what a gift you all are giving and giving of yourselves.
Speaker B:And I think there's something so special about being your age, because, my gosh, when I was your age, like, being as vulnerable as you all are being, and as just like, here's my experience, and I'm offering it as a gift to you and as a like, so if there's anybody else that's having the same experience or can see, like, a piece of themselves and me, like, here it is.
Speaker B:And bravo to you for doing that.
Speaker B:That's so.
Speaker B:Like, the number of lives that you are saving is extraordinary.
Speaker B:So thank you.
Speaker B:Really.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:And I still, like, seriously, I've been doing this for seven years.
Speaker B:I still cry literally almost every episode.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:This is what I look like.
Speaker B:I'm almost crying.
Speaker B:Like, I don't know why I ever put makeup on people.
Speaker B:All my people know that.
Speaker B:They're like, here she goes.
Speaker B:Yep, the tears are coming.
Speaker B:Yep, here they come.
Speaker B:At some point, I might stop crying.
Speaker B:I just feel so excited and lucky to be here so really quick, because, Celeste, you've been very quiet, but I want to just have you come talk a little bit, because this is so special to have you here, too.
Speaker B:I will tell you that when you.
Speaker B:When I got your first email, I was so excited.
Speaker B:I literally was like.
Eric:This.
Speaker B:I mean, you're kind of like one of my heroes.
Speaker B:So I'm so delighted that you're here and the number of things that you have done, like the.
Lily:Just.
Speaker B:It's so beautiful.
Speaker B:So I'd love for you to talk just for a couple minutes about, you know, your path from starting, you know, creating the Trevor project to creating future Perfect Project, to all of the beautiful things you've done in your life.
Speaker B:Could you talk a little bit about it?
Celeste:Yeah.
Celeste:Talking a little bit about it is always hard, but talking about it's always a.
Celeste:And I.
Celeste:And I really.
Celeste:I'm here to just create space for them to speak about it, because it's really.
Celeste:I just want to emphasize that the I'm Feeling Queer Today is a podcast that is made by them.
Celeste:And one of the things that moved me so deeply in the very beginning was their commitment to queer joy.
Celeste:When we made the pilot, it was unanimous.
Celeste:They all said, you know, there are enough stories of trauma out there that, like, what we need to do is represent that being queer is a wonderful thing and that not all of us are in trouble.
Celeste:You know, look, it's challenging to be a human being, and.
Celeste:And being queer in many environments is a challenge on top of that.
Celeste:But we wouldn't choose it if it didn't bring us happiness, if it wasn't, you know, something that made more of us.
Celeste:Right.
Celeste:And so I just want to underscore that.
Celeste:That it's a.
Celeste:It's been a joyful experience to really see what I could do about changing the narrative around young people, because we have a certain idea about young people, especially about LGBTQ plus young people, that they're.
Celeste:They're all in trouble.
Celeste:They're suffering.
Celeste:They're.
Celeste:You know, it's.
Celeste:It's.
Celeste:It's traumatic.
Celeste:It's.
Celeste:They're in danger.
Celeste:But there's another narrative that lives right Alongside that, which is that they are extraordinary.
Celeste:And this generation is.
Celeste:I mean, they don't even know it because they're just.
Celeste:They're just being them.
Celeste:But I've had the good fortune of watching Generation, Generation come of age in the past 25 years with the Trevor Project.
Celeste: And in: Celeste:I was just really floored.
Celeste:I'd been traveling around the country doing a solo show that I had written and performing.
Celeste:I was performing and I always go into schools and.
Celeste:Or have schools come to see the show.
Celeste:And I just noticed something completely different.
Celeste:Their ability to just articulate their own emotional life was brand new.
Celeste:Their connection to each other, their understanding of their own history, their queer history.
Celeste:Their idea that people were coming after them, that was never happened before.
Celeste:Like, the idea that people came before them, you know, and had won these rights for them to be who they are, that nobody ever.
Celeste:That had never happened before.
Celeste:And, you know, for me, my life changed when I told my personal story.
Celeste:I.
Celeste:You know, it was a fictionalized version of me.
Celeste:I called myself Trevor.
Celeste:It was.
Celeste:It was a.
Celeste:It was a piece of a show that I performed live.
Celeste: which won an Academy Award in: Celeste:It's like, my God, it's like ancient times and.
Celeste:But there was something about I.
Celeste:There was something about me telling my personal story that when people go deep inside themselves and pull out a part of themselves, their most vulnerable part, the most terrifying part to.
Celeste: And in: Celeste:And fortunately, it was at a moment when people were ready to actually change the narrative.
Celeste:And I have seen the effect that that story has had on the world.
Celeste: And so in: Celeste:Like we're.
Celeste:We've told our stories now.
Celeste:It's time for these young people to tell what it's like for them right now to be in this place in history.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Celeste:And tell us what it's like.
Celeste:Because people are always talking about them and they're saying a lot of things that aren't true and they're trying to make certain things true that should never be true.
Celeste:And tv, you see them depicted on TV in ways that I go, not my experience, that's not my experience of young people.
Celeste:So I just made it my business.
Celeste:I reached out to Ryan Amador, who is my co founder of this organization, and I said, let's travel around the country.
Celeste:Let's just go and hear from them.
Celeste:Let's.
Celeste:Let's give them the mic.
Celeste:And so we've done a number of different projects within the future.
Celeste:Perfect project, but I have to say that this one is the most direct, because as I said in the beginning, this I'm Feeling Queer Today is a podcast created by them and for them, and we just really facilitate that happening.
Celeste:That was.
Celeste:Now, that was a lot of words.
Celeste:Lily.
Speaker B:Eric, do you want to say something?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Eric:Yeah, if I may.
Eric:I mean, I definitely think there's no denying, like, how powerful, like, youth voices can be in sharing our stories can be.
Eric:But I did just want to applaud and appreciate and thank both you, Celeste, and you, Heather, like, how powerful it is that both of you have found this platform in this way of not only expressing yourselves, but also uplifting youth.
Eric:Because I think that while, again, like, the power and the depth that we can have when we're connecting with each other can't be understated and can't be ignored, I think that having figures who have changed their perspectives, been able to tell their stories, been able to adapt to a world that has changed so much in its perspectives, especially regarding queer people and queer youth, I think that it's really important and necessary, but also empowering and uplifting that people like you both, in your own unique and powerful ways, have found, like, an outlet to uplift us, but also share your stories because it doesn't go unnoticed and it does mean a lot to us.
Eric:And I think I speak for both of us and plenty of queer youth when I say that.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:That's so kind.
Speaker B:Well, I mean, you all are why I get up every day.
Speaker B:I mean, a big part of it.
Speaker B:So I just, you know, kind of.
Speaker B:To reiterate what Celeste just said, I mean, one of the things that I find so remarkable about your generation is that, I mean, you have access to so much information and just so much that could, like, just weigh you down or bring you down or, you know, do so many things.
Speaker B:But instead, you are wise and you have become critical thinkers and emotionally just so connected at such young ages and are so articulate.
Speaker B:Holy goodness.
Speaker B:I mean, like, you are able to, like, connect.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I love watching how, like, connecting to your thoughts collect, connecting to your feelings, connecting to each other, connecting to us in this platform of, you know, we're four little squares.
Speaker B:And yet, you know, here we are, like, so connected.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:I think that's just brilliant that you all are able to do this.
Speaker B:And I tell my kids all the time, like you, your generation is going to change the world because you are all that powerful.
Speaker B:So our job, Celeste and me, is here to, like, hold space for you and just do everything we can to make that possible and continue to make sure that you are seen as human.
Speaker B:Like, that is one of my biggest things, is you are human beings.
Speaker B:And that is, I think, you know, such a powerful piece of what you're doing at I'm feeling queer or on I'm feeling queer today.
Speaker B:Is that humanization, like, keeping that human voice.
Speaker B:It's so powerful.
Speaker B:So bravo.
Speaker B:I know that both of you kind of came into this project from doing, like, initially writing projects and in very different ways, but I'd love just for people to kind of know, like, what are you wanting to do in the world?
Speaker B:Lily said that you're in school.
Speaker B:Eric, are you currently in school?
Speaker B:Like, what is your aspirations, like, outside?
Speaker B:Or what are your aspirations outside of the podcast?
Eric:Would you like to start off Lily again, or would you want to mix it up?
Eric:I'm fine with anything.
Eric:Okay, cool.
Eric:So right now I'm a senior in high school, but I've gone through the arduous process that is college applications and everything related to that.
Eric:So I do have plans to go to school at Vanderbilt next year.
Eric:And, yes, exciting.
Eric:I'm going to be in the school of education.
Eric:So while the specific major within that area is not necessarily decided or determined, I think that something that does really interest me is, like, childhood development and just kind of, like, looking at how youth, like, just evolve as the little beings that they are from, like, preschool to now to, like, Lily and I and everything.
Eric:So I think that that's something that definitely interests me.
Eric:And while obviously that will probably change, I think that definitely ties into all the things that I've done in high school.
Eric:Like speech and debate, for example, is something that I've been super involved in.
Eric:So, like, speaking and writing and advocating is something that I do competitively.
Eric:So it's not just, like, a means of expression.
Eric:But, yeah, it's.
Eric:I think that finding ways to just kind of explore the world, that's kind of my, like, means of operation.
Eric:Like, just kind of looking at how people think and how we interact and everything, like, that is what really interests me.
Eric:So I think whatever I end up doing, because I'm sure that will change and evolve, I really do hope that it can be, like, a means of exploration and just kind of understanding the world, but also myself a little Bit better.
Eric:So as I progress in the world, goals might change, but I think that that little underlying factor will always be there.
Speaker B:I love that.
Lily:I'm going to be honest.
Lily:This is kind of what I wanted to do.
Lily:We might have to cut this.
Lily:So Celeste, yell at me if we have to cut this.
Lily:But this summer, the plan is that I'm going to get to work with Celeste and Emma, I believe, working on a future season of this with young people as a facilitator.
Lily:And that's sort of what I wanted to do.
Lily:From the time I was little, I knew I wanted to help people, and I worked briefly at a summer camp.
Lily:And the most rewarding part of that for me was making connections with young queer people.
Lily:And even then, it's sort of.
Lily:I'm going to sound old, but kind of like what Celeste said was they were so much more free and so much more happy with who they were at such a young age than I remember myself being.
Lily:And that gave me so much hope and also being able to be a person.
Lily:I remember so distinctly a kid came up to me and they were like, I want to be just like you when I grow up.
Lily:And I was like, no, I hope you get to be just like yourself.
Lily:I hope you get to be yourself because you're such an incredible young person already.
Lily:So, in a technical way, I'm going to school for very silly things.
Lily:I'm here for creative writing and film and theater and media.
Lily:I'm prancing around because I love to tell stories and I love to tell queer stories.
Lily:And right now I have some art related to my disabilities in an art exhibit.
Lily:So I feel very privileged to get to go to school to do that sort of thing.
Lily:But I honestly, I think life will take me strange places, as it often takes creative people.
Lily:But I hope I get to continue to do something like this and to help people that have been in situations that I found myself in.
Lily:And I'm so excited to see where that goes.
Speaker B:Yes, I love that.
Speaker B:I love that so much.
Speaker B:And I love just honoring.
Speaker B:Acknowledging and honoring, you know, who you are and what you.
Speaker B:What you feel passionately about and following that.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And that will change over time.
Speaker B:But both of you, that's just so impressive.
Speaker B:And I say that, you know, again, I say that to my kids all the time.
Speaker B:Like, figure out what you're.
Speaker B:Like, what do you feel passionately about?
Speaker B:Don't go to school to be, you know, whatever, because it'll.
Speaker B:Because of the dollar or because of, you know, the location or because you Know, whatever it happens to be, like, what do you want to do?
Speaker B:Like, what feels good?
Speaker B:And if you have to be in school five or six years because of that, or, or take a break and have no years, whatever that is, whatever it looks like, like, do that.
Speaker B:So I love that for both of you and for everybody listening, what would you like for the people listening to know?
Speaker B:If you could just say, here's one, one thing that I want you to know.
Speaker B:Whether it's about the podcast, whether it's about queer joy, whether it's about, like, what just you wish adults would understand, what would it be?
Lily:I'm processing in real time here, so, so bear, bear with me.
Speaker B:That's okay.
Speaker B:Take as much time as you need.
Lily:Yeah.
Lily:I would first like to acknowledge that if you're listening to this, you're already making an effort and the effort does really matter.
Lily:Even if you're not perfect, you've.
Lily:You've made the effort.
Lily:And that's a really meaningful step.
Lily:If you have a teenager, they might be really angry at you because they're a teenager.
Lily:Not necessarily because they're queer or trans, just because they're a teenager.
Lily:But thank you for taking that step.
Lily:And I hope that you continue to take more and let your child or the children that you're looking after lead you in that process and then guide you there.
Lily:Because they, they do know themselves, maybe more than you think they do, and they need your support and they need your guidance, but they do know who they are.
Lily:Words.
Lily:If I had to say one thing.
Lily:Can I maybe pause and hand this over to.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Yes, you can totally pause.
Speaker B:We'll come back to you, of course.
Eric:Yeah, I mean, like Lily was saying, I think that just, like, making the effort, like, goes so much farther than it seems on the surface.
Eric:Because I think that just as we as queer youth and queer people in general are on a journey of self discovery and understanding our identities and how that fits into the world and how we're going to navigate, like, the complex world that we live in today, I think that, like, allies and parents especially, but even people who aren't undergoing that same journey still are on, like, a journey of their own.
Eric:And I think that coming to discover not just who you are, but how that fits into supporting your queer child, or how that fits into being more open to your queer sibling or anything like that, I think that that journey is just as complex and just as powerful, but I think that just being open to the fact that, like, arriving at the destination of that journey is not going to Happen quickly, if not ever.
Eric:Because I think that definitely something I've discovered from, like, going so deep into conversations like this or other forms of podcasting or writing is that I am constantly surprising myself by what I have learned and where I'm at and everything.
Eric:Like, even this little paragraph monologue, I'm probably saying things that I've never even thought of before.
Eric:And afterwards, I'm going to sit back and I'm going to be like, huh, I didn't know.
Eric:I thought that, but that's really cool.
Eric:And I think that that kind of sums up the whole idea of being an ally, being a queer person, is that it's like that whole journey never ends.
Eric:And I think that's the most important part.
Eric:But if I were to say one thing, I think it's just try your best, because your best is definitely enough.
Eric:It's more than enough, because there are so many people who don't even take the time to try.
Eric:And I think that trying to, again, discover who you are, how that fits into the world, that is such a large step in and of itself, and that just continuing to try every day, waking up to podcast, to listen to a podcast, to read a book, to talk to someone, that all adds up, and it comes together to create the wonderful people that we all are and that everyone is.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Celeste, do you.
Celeste:I have something that I would love to say to please to parents and to people who are curious.
Celeste:You know, there's a lot of talk about young people and how we're living through a period of great change, especially within the LGBTQ community.
Celeste:Like, it's just a.
Celeste:It's.
Celeste:It's amazing, but it can look from the outside.
Celeste:Like I've often heard people say, oh, they're so confused.
Celeste:They don't know who they are.
Eric:They're.
Celeste:They're changing all the time.
Celeste:And.
Celeste:And I think one of the things that's really important for me to always keep in mind is that it's not confusion, it's curiosity.
Celeste:And that, in fact, this is what young people are supposed to be doing.
Celeste:They're supposed to be applying their curiosity to this living experiment, right?
Celeste:And this is the period of life where they get to really try on who they are, because they know inside who they are.
Celeste:As Lily was saying, you can trust that they know.
Celeste:And when I think back to my experience, you know, when Trevor came out 25 years ago, people did not understand that young people knew their sexuality or their gender.
Celeste:That was not something that was in the world.
Celeste:That was that.
Celeste:That was Something that people came to at that moment and began to understand, oh, maybe that yeah, we've, we know, you know, many of us know from a very, very young age.
Celeste:And the other thing I would really say as you know, the, you know, the research that they've done with the Trevor project is it's all the statistics are there, but a queer young person who has one person in their life who accepts them mitigates self harm, thoughts of suicide by nine times.
Celeste:Just one person can have an enormous effect on a young person and the way that they think about themselves and see that self.
Celeste:So see themselves.
Celeste:So what I would say to anybody is be that one person and be that one person to as many young people as you can possibly be.
Celeste:You don't have to just be to one.
Celeste:It's like, keep your eye out, you know, they're everywhere.
Speaker B:They are, they are.
Speaker B:And it doesn't have to be perfect.
Speaker B:One of you said that.
Speaker B:And I think that's so, so important that perfect is not, is, is not real.
Speaker B:So just be like, be present and be messy.
Speaker B:Just know it's going to be messy and that's beautiful and cool and embrace that and be that person.
Speaker B:Be courageous and be curious.
Speaker B:I think those are two.
Speaker B:You know, being courageous is something that I've definitely learned from my kids and.
Heather Hester:From you all is to do that right.
Speaker B:You know, I, when I was your age, I can't imagine, like I think back and I think I had no idea and not able to even probably articulate like who I was or what I wanted to be or who, you know, all of those things.
Speaker B:So I am just constantly in awe of your, of your courage and your ability to just be the really amazing humans you are.
Speaker B:So thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you so much.
Speaker B:Before we wrap up, I just want to give you an opportunity to, if you want to plug anything, if you want to say one more thing, you know, tell your favorite episode that you want everyone to first listen to when they jump on to listen.
Speaker B:Whatever the floor is yours.
Speaker B:Eric, would you like to go first?
Speaker B:Sure.
Eric:You think in terms of plugging things I would say listen to, I'm feeling queer today.
Eric:It will be life changing and wonderful and amazing and even if you know about everything we're discussing, I think the unique perspectives of each and every one of us comes across and you will discover so much more than you might think.
Eric:And I mean I, I don't want to say listen to every episode, but listen to every episode because I feel like the whole journey that we went on in like Evolving as how the processes we underwent to record the episodes and the discussions that we had.
Eric:You can kind of feel that as you go through all the episodes.
Eric:And I think they're organized in such a way that it creates this little.
Eric:This timeline and this narrative that you get to explore with the 12 of us and just kind of get to know all of our perspectives, but also all of the.
Eric:All of the joy and all of the ugly and all of the.
Eric:Everything that exists for queer youth in the world.
Eric:And.
Eric:Yeah, and I mean, I think one last thing to that point of curiosity and exploring who we are, I think that just even if one individual person is not necessarily in the space or in.
Eric:Has the ability to change someone's life, I think that just sending the message that you're willing to do so can go so far.
Eric:Because I think obviously we all have our own limitations.
Eric:We all have our own little bubbles that we live in that may or may not be conducive to doing everything that we want to.
Eric:But I think that for anyone listening or for anyone in general, just like being able to send the message and just put your own little contribution into the safe spaces around you or into the whole, like, interconnection, the whole network of queer people and allies across the country and across the world, I think that all the little things make a difference.
Eric:And even, like, here having this conversation with you, Heather, it makes a difference.
Eric:Like, I feel so seen just from having heard your story and your perspectives and everything like that.
Eric:And it's powerful and it's meaningful.
Lily:Lily, I think I'm just.
Lily:I'm gonna.
Lily:I agree with Eric, and I'm also.
Lily:I'm gonna do the full.
Lily:The full plug of the program.
Lily:If you know a queer young person, age 13 to 19, please send them over to the future prick to get them involved with some free virtual programming in creative writing and performance.
Lily:We make incredible connections.
Lily:I've met so many, like, true, like, professional people.
Lily:We had Alok come.
Lily:We had Caitlin Kinnon, who was a Broadway performer.
Lily:We have Zian Fante, who's lovely.
Lily:We have Miles Tripp, Marie Howe, who is a poet.
Lily:We've met incredible people.
Lily:And to sort of stress that it's uniquely liberating to have the opportunity to make art, especially as a young person, and to make connections in a space where you know for a fact that you're seeing, you're safe, you're understood.
Lily:And if you are someone that is perhaps a little bit older than 13 to 19, get in touch with them and see if they can come to your school, your local community center, your LGBT center.
Lily:Wonderful group of people.
Lily:Yay.
Speaker B:That's so great.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:Celeste, would you like to say anything else?
Celeste:Just thank you to you for the work that you're doing.
Celeste:Oh, I think that one of the things that moves me so deeply traveling around this country over the past seven years is the fierceness of moms.
Celeste:You know, I think one of the reasons people don't like to hang out with young people and why they talk about them and not with them is because young people actually make you question your own life and what you believe, what you truly, truly believe.
Celeste:And what I have seen traveling around the country is that the people who are willing to change are the moms.
Celeste:And the reason they change is because they love their kid and they're not going to leave them behind or kick them out.
Celeste:And they are fierce, fierce, fierce.
Celeste:So I know that your kids really changed you.
Celeste:And, you know, I don't see the point of being alive if you're not changing and growing yourself.
Celeste:Right.
Celeste:So I know from my own experience that this experience with the Future Perfect Project and with I'm Feeling Queer Today, I just love.
Celeste:First of all, I just love people having to say, I'm feeling queer today so many times.
Celeste:Like.
Celeste:And I especially like getting straight people to say, so tell us about I'm Feeling queer Today.
Speaker B:But, I mean, how much thought went into that name?
Speaker B:I think there was a little bit of thought that went into that.
Celeste:Not.
Celeste:Not by me.
Celeste:By.
Celeste:It was actually the young people they came up with love it.
Celeste:But I just know from my own personal experience that just being with them, these, you know, through the pandemic and traveling around the country, that they changed my life.
Celeste:And for that to happen to me at this stage of my life is such a blessing beyond.
Celeste:I can't even begin to express it.
Celeste:But if you want a little taste of it, you can go to the future perfect project.org, go onto the website, go look at some of the work that they've created, the animations we've created, two albums of their music.
Celeste:You know, there's all sorts of resources there that gives you a sense of what they think and feel and see and why they're already living in a future that hasn't yet arrived.
Celeste:But that is the place that I want to live.
Speaker B:Yes.
Celeste:It's just more generous.
Celeste:It's more.
Celeste:It's kinder, it's more expansive.
Celeste:So join us.
Celeste:There is what I think, everybody.
Speaker B:I mean, it is more authentic.
Speaker B:I will.
Speaker B:Lily I saw that.
Speaker B:Don't worry, I will.
Speaker B:I will put everything in links in the description.
Speaker B:It works.
Celeste:Both of them work.
Celeste:Both of them work.
Speaker B:Yes, it is.
Speaker B:It is a gift.
Speaker B:And it is a gift to just have been here with you all today.
Speaker B:Honestly, you've like made my day.
Speaker B:You have no idea.
Speaker B:And I'm so thrilled to get this out in the world.
Speaker B:And just know if you have a child who you think might be interested, by all means, get them plugged in here because this is just, as you can tell, just extraordinary.
Speaker B:So thank you all so much for being here with me today.
Speaker B:I am beyond grateful.
Speaker B:It's a Saturday afternoon.
Speaker B:You've given up your Saturday, at least an hour of it for me and for everyone listening.
Speaker B:So thank you for your generosity.
Speaker B:I so, so appreciate it.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker B:I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did.
Speaker B:A quick reminder that my brand new book, Parenting with Pride is now available wherever books are sold.
Speaker B:Click on the link in the Show Notes to buy it right this second or to send it to a friend.
Speaker B:If this podcast, Just Breathe means something to you, it would mean so much to me if you would take 30 seconds to do two things.
Speaker B:First, please follow or subscribe to the show.
Speaker B:Just click on the plus sign or the word follow wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker B:And second, if you'd be willing to share a five star rating and review, I'd be so grateful.
Speaker B:It isn't just a nice thing for others to read, it actually helps this podcast get in front of those who need it most.
Speaker B:I appreciate you being part of the Just Breathe community.
Speaker B:Big hugs to you all.
Speaker B:Until next time.
Heather Hester:Thanks so much for joining me today.
Heather Hester:If you enjoyed today's episode, I would be so grateful for a rating or a review.
Heather Hester:Click on the link in the Show Notes or go to my website chrysalismama.com to stay up to date on my latest resources as well as to learn how you can work with me.
Heather Hester:Please share this podcast with anyone who needs to know that they are not alone.
Heather Hester:And remember, remember to just breathe until next time.
